Twenty Minute Rule

Have you ever heard of the 20 minute rule? I never have in all my years of dieting until my therapist brought it up.

There are two sides to the 20 minute rule. One is if you have a craving for something that you know will be bad for you especially if you are not hungry. You all know exactly what I mean. It is 9 PM and the ice cream container in the freezer calling your name. It is the box of chocolates that you continue to circle and occasionally open the box - just to peak. It is the pie in the refrigerator you cannot resist... maybe, you will take out a fork and just take one taste? Well, the 20 minute rule means that any kind of craving will last only 20 minutes, BUT you have to distract yourself and do something else. So, if you are watching TV and get the craving, get up and go into another room, if that doesn't work, try reading a book. The idea is to substitute a postive activity for the negative one and distract yourself from the craving. In 20 minutes the craving should be gone. The thought is that you keep telling yourself that you can "ride this craving out" because it is temporary. I have tried this 20 minute rule many times and it has worked for me.

The other "20 minute rule" is to help your brain and tummy get to get coordinated to register "fullness." If you eat slowly, start with a salad, then periodically stop and put your fork down, your brain will begin to register fullness. When you feel satisfied but not stuffed, stop, and wait. Do a quick tummy check and you might find that you feel satisfied sooner than expected. I will usually pull out a mint and have it which has become another way to signal.....that I am done and satisfied. If I do really get hungry later, I will have a small snack, like fruit or yogurt.

I have no idea if there is any scientific basis to this rule, but if it something as simple as the power of suggestion, I will take it. This 20 minute rule has worked and continues to work for me.

Anyone ever hear of this before? Anyone try a similar tactic?

Happy, healthy trails to you.

Every Cloud has a Silver Lining - My Yoga Story

Every now and then it seems storm clouds head our way. You have heard the saying "when it rains, it pours." Intellectually I know these storms will pass and I try to stay positive, but when you are in the eye of the storm, sometimes you lose your direction, perspective and motivation.

Back in the summer of 2006 I was living through one of these extended storms. We were renovating our recently purchased Victorian home and had to move out temporarily because the renovations were more extensive than anyone expected. Despite that fact that we did all the right things with competitive bids and background checks, we seemed to have hired the contractor from hell. Our temporary home was a small beach house and we lived there for over 10 months. July was the midpoint for this adventure and one day I came home to the beach house and was at wit's end. One of our beloved cats had suddenly died of a heart attack in the Veterinarian's office during a routine rabies shot, we had more unpleasant and expensive renovation surprises, work was tough and I had not seen my horse.

Photos from the Kripalu Website -see below.


I came home to the beach one Thursday night and I had enough and launched into a full scale pity party. “Woe is me, why did I do this? Things are not fair, etc, etc” I was sliding into this ditch of “stinking thinking.” This is a dangerous time for someone like me who struggles with their weight. Because unchecked, I will turn to food. But then I caught myself and remembered what I had learned: "Go out and do something positive! " So, I decided to go for a walk ON THE BEACH! What was I thinking? Even though we were crammed in this tiny house, we were at the beach full time in the summer! I was so deep into feeling sorry for myself that I had lost my perspective and forgotten that things were actually pretty good. (Anyone else ever do this?) So off I went to the beach and there in front of me was a Yoga Class in progress on the boardwalk.

The woman in the red in the above picture is one of my instructors, Cheryl. Cheryl has taught yoga at horse back riding retreats overseas. We are hoping to get a similar class set up at our barn.

I always dismissed Yoga as a thing for skinny, young, New Age girls. All of the Yoga ads I have ever seen always show young models or celebrities. But as I looked at the class on the boardwalk I noticed all ages and sizes as well as big differences in ability. As I watched I became excited by what I saw so I waited around to chat with the instructor.

The next Saturday morning before I went to the barn to see Nitro, I took my very first Yoga Class. During that first class I found myself crying tears of joy - “I cannot believe I am in this class!” Of course I was stumbling around but the instructor was very supportive and encouraging. She would say "Fall down four times, get up five." I had the same reaction to Yoga as I did to horseback riding - from the start I was hooked. After the fourth or fifth class I began to notice a difference in my body and little by little I was able to do more poses. I also discovered that I was becoming more relaxed and would do a bit of Yoga if I found myself starting to go to a mental “Pity Party.”

I now do Yoga three to four times a week. I do it for the balance, flexibility and strength (especially core strength). This is all invaluable for toning, is helping me to age gracefully and is really helpful in riding a horse. I also do it for the mind relaxation and breathing. After a Yoga class I am completely relaxed no matter how difficult my day has been. If I am relaxed I am less likely to indulge in destructive eating or other negative behavior.

I will be writing more about Yoga in future posts. It is one of the primary things I now do in addition to cardiovascular exercise. It helps the mind, the body and spirit. You will feel better and your horse will also be grateful for your balance, relaxation and core strength.

You may want to check out the website for Kripalu. http://www.kripalu.org/ They are a "not for profit" organization in Massachusetts that is dedicated to teaching yoga. Several people I work with and some of my yoga instructors have gone to Kripalu and have had great experiences. I hope to go one day :)

So, if you have a Yoga class at the local Y, gym or studio, give it a try. Anyone have any thoughts/experiences on Yoga for fitness and riding?

Happy, Healthy Trails to you. Enjoy the rest of your week.

P.S. Has anyone read the book "Whoa-ga" http://whoaga.com/by Kathy Reynolds? I received it as a gift and have not read it yet.

Inspiration - "Half Broke Horses"

I had a wonderful soul inspiring day today. My friend and I went to New York City to attend a fundraising lunch for the Literacy Partners, which is a non-profit organization that teaches adults how to read and write.

The speaker at the luncheon was Jeannette Walls who has written the recently published "Half Broke Horses." She is also the author of the acclaimed "Glass Castle." Both of these books are stories about Jeannette's family. "Half Broke Horses" follows the life of her grandmother who broke horses, taught in a one room school, flew an airplane and helped run a massive cattle ranch. It is a book about a very strong woman with courage, resourcefulness and the ability to take risks and reinvent herself . This woman never felt sorry for herself, she just kept going forward no matter how difficult or impossible things seemed. It is a wonderful read for all women, especially horse women. Here is a video clip of Jeanette discussing the book: http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=100205404

I have not read her first book, "Glass Castle" yet, but I will. It is a story about Jeannette, her sibling and her parents. What is really amazing is that Jeanette grew up in a highly dysfunctional family and was homeless for large stretches of time and was able to succeed and stay positive despite her rough start in life.

During her talk Jeanette made a couple of points that I found very inspirational. She discussed the shame she felt because of the scars on her body and her feeling that she was "damaged goods." Her husband told her that she should be proud of those scars because it tells the world that she survived. She also mentioned that despite the family's love of horses she rode a horse for the first time at age 42 and it was a powerful and moving experience. She now owns horses herself and told the audience, "I may not be the most graceful rider, but I love the horses." Having started riding at age 50, I understand fully and it is good to hear about another person in the same situation as me who loved the horses but is not intending to be the best rider.

At the end of the program I spoke to Jeanette and asked her to sign my book. We chatted for a few minutes, and I was taken with her warmth and honesty. I did not look at the book until I came home this evening. She had written "Push and Pray" in addition to her signature. It is a great reminder of her philosophy that the best we can do in life is to "Push" and "Pray." Her Grandmother had done that in "Half Broke Horses" and survived some incredible challenges. If we "Push" and "Pray" we can overcome some big challenges and maybe even have that breakthrough we have been struggling to find.

If you can, read "Half Broke Horses." You will laugh, you will cry, you will be inspired! You will not be able to put the book down.

Happy, healthy trails to you! Hope you all find some inspiration this week.

Here I am chatting with Jeanette. She is intelligent, warm, articulate and a survivor!

My friend Karen was thrilled to meet the columnist Liz Smith. She is a witty and charming Texan.

"Need a kick in the pants!"

What things do you do to "talk yourself into staying on track when you don't really feel like it?...I need a kick in the pants."

I was asked this question recently by a "Walktrotter" on my January 17th post. What I loved about her comments and questions was the pure honesty. Here is a woman that really understands herself and admits it is hard to stay fit and she needs a " kick in the pants!" Awareness is the most powerful first step to any change. So, I will try to answer this great question as best as I can. But it may take a couple of posts. So, please bear with me.

Dear Walktrotter, those of us who struggle with our weight are a tough crowd. We want it all and we want it now and we have been known to be a tad bit stubborn. I am a charter member of this group and I know every excuse in the book, every reason not to diet or exercise. A couple of things helped me, or shocked me into addressing my weight loss and making it a priority. So, here was one of my wake-up calls: Someone had taken a photo of my backside (I was wearing pants!). When I saw the picture I thought "Who is that big lady talking to my daughter? And she seems to be wearing the same outfit I have!" Surprise! it was me.... And it was definitely not bootylicious! I could not look at the photo and did what any stubborn person would do, I tried to ignore it. But like a bad dream the image kept coming back. This image and my health issues stayed in my mind as the big incentives.

A woman I work with had the same thing happen last year. Someone took a picture of her backside this past summer when she was wearing a "BATHING SUIT! She cried for days but pulled herself together has been dieting and has taken off 40 pounds so far with another 5 or so to go. She looks fabulous! Great job Missy D!

My therapist tells me that he has had a number of people get serious when they have seen photos of their backsides. I think there is a logical reason for this in that having a face in a photo distracts the eye, but with no face to look at, a backside photo is brutally honest. One of these pictures is a real kick in the pants!

However, along with this shocking image, I also had many positive incentives and one was the goal to fit into clothes that I had "grown out of." As soon as I lost weight, I congratulated myself, the big clothes were donated. I also kept a positive voice in my mind and kept telling myself numerous times a day, that yes...I can do this...yes, I was getting better, day by day. Please also remember that horses have been and continue to be my positive motivation.

As an added benefit, once I lost weight I had much, much more energy and was able to do more in a day that I thought possible. What was strenuous was not effortless. So, Walktrotter, sounds like you already have a lot of energy, if you reach your goal, you will be a human dynamo! Your question is excellent but tough and I will be answering it with a couple more posts. Thanks for a great and honest question. I wish you luck.

Anyone have any wake up calls or incentives they use to keep on track to share with Walktrotter?

Happy, healthy trails to you. Have a great week!

Healthy, Easy and Tasty Winter Vegetable Recipe

One of the best ways to keep your weight in check is by eating fruit and vegetables. They are now a primary part of my diet, but one challenge in January is getting fresh vegetables that taste good and are low in calories. In the January 2010 Martha Stewart Living Magazine there were a series of recipes for cabbage which is plentiful in the winter, high in nutritional value and also inexpensive. A real deal if you can cook it and make it tasty! The recipe for Oven Roasted Cabbage caught my eye because in my home we oven roast almost every vegetable: Peppers, Onions, Broccoli, Cauliflower, Squash, Brussels Sprouts. Since I have an Eastern European background, cabbage has always been a staple, but we never tried or even thought of oven roasting cabbage in the oven until I read the Martha Stewart Recipe.

Before I came home my husband had his dinner, so this is minus two wedges. He has a generous hand with the turkey bacon :)

My husband loves to cook and last week I came home from work one night and the house smelled wonderful. He had made the Martha Cabbage Recipe with a twist. He added turkey bacon to the recipe and it smelled and tasted wonderful. When cabbage is roasted it takes on a slightly sweet and nutty taste and has none of the strong odor you sometimes get when it is boiled. The great point about this recipe is that it is low in calories and is also great cold or reheated. It is a keeper!

Roasted Green Cabbage Wedges with Turkey Bacon (Adapted from Martha Stewart)
serves 8
1 Small Head green cabbage about 2 and 1/2 pounds
2 tablespoons olive oil (roughly)
Salt and Pepper to taste
1/2 lb turkey bacon (more or less to taste, the bacon is optional)

Cut the cabbage into 8 wedges, core intact. Brush the cabbage with olive oil, salt and pepper to taste. Place in baking dish cut side down in a 400 degree oven until edges are brown and cabbage is tender/crisp. Flip halfway through the cooking to get the other side of the wedge brown. In a convection oven we roast the cabbage at 355 degrees. (Martha's recipe is for 450 degrees). In a pan fry the turkey bacon until crisp, crumble over the cooked cabbage wedges and serve. Note: Martha also uses lemon in her recipe, we did not but will try lemon without the turkey bacon.

Hope you enjoy the recipe! Do any of you have any healthy vegetable recipes to share?

Happy, healthy trails to you.

8 Year Anniversary - Lost 150 Pounds and Found Myself

Today is a big day for me. It is my 8th anniversary of my "last chance diet." Little did I know that back on January 17, 2002, I would make a decision that would change the rest of my life in the most remarkable way. Back on January 17,2002, I weighed in excess of 300 pounds and I could not walk up a flight of stairs or a city block without getting winded and having to stop and rest. I fit the government's criteria for being disabled (Level IV) and I was a medical time bomb. But by the grace of God, I started on January 17th. It was a Thursday and earlier in the month I had begun a New Year's Resolution diet that crashed and burned within a couple of days of the New Year. So this was my second attempt in the New Year. But this time I was inspired. I prayed to God to help me because I felt helpless in the face of all that excess weight and all of the excess baggage in my life.

Photo from the Rutgers Equine Science Center

Then the miracle slowly began to unfold, slowly, step by step. Six months into the diet I was struggling and praying, then one day on a business trip with a colleague ( John S. the fellow in the picture below) we talked about dreams. His dream was to fly a helicopter, mine was to ride a horse. Right then and there I thought "What is stopping me?" I had lost around 50 pounds and decided to call and set up a lesson. Fortunately the instructor had a really sturdy horse that she used for the "guys." From the moment I first sat in the saddle, I was hooked. I loved everything about that first riding lesson and since that day I cannot get enough of the horse. Granted I am a nervous rider, but that does not matter. Each time I would be tempted to binge I would pray, exercise or go to the barn. Sometimes I would do all three several times a day to keep myself on track.


My life has changed in ways too numerous to mention. Horses have lead me in many wonderful directions. I rediscovered my Alma Mater - Rutgers University and took my first college course - "Horse Management" since graduating decades earlier. The horse taught me about the joy of charitable giving as I made donations to the "Young Horse Teaching Program" and the "Rutgers Equine Science Center" - both help students interested in horses and also help improve horse health. Horses have brought and continue to bring wonderful people into my life. I treasure these friends who have enriched my life and have taught me so much about horses and the power of positive living. Horses have brought me joy and a deeper sense of empathy and compassion for all living creatures.

Because of the horse I have downsized my house and moved into a much smaller and simpler home in the heart of NJ Horse Country. With this simpler lifestyle my family and I have found deep peace and unbridled joy. There is so much more that I can share, the list is endless. The horse has been and continues to me my inspiration and each day I thank God for this second chance and for His glorious and magnificent creation of the horse.

This is me today 2010.

Here I am with one of my friends and hero's John S. and his wife. It is December 2001 and we are outside Lincoln Center in NYC. At this point I am at my highest weight.

After I sold my home, I found the black coat in the above photo. Somehow I had missed it when I donated all of my other old clothes. When I put it on I almost passed out from the intense emotion. Today I wore the coat in public for the first time since December 2001 - see below, but this time I was able to wear it with Kelly. I think this gives you the visual that I did lose half of my weight. Seeing the two of us wearing the coat gives the full impact of this lasting achievement. I am proud and humbled at the same time.

Kelly and me together in the coat today, it is fully buttoned and we can even both put our arms through the sleeves!

Who know what the next eight years will bring? But one thing I do know is that with the grace of God, good friends, family and my partnership with the horse, anything is possible. What I do know is I am living a life beyond my wildest dreams.

Tomorrow I start my ninth year of recovery.

May you all follow your dreams - step by step and day by day. Dreams can come true with the grace of God and time.

Nitro and his buddy Mac just a couple of days ago.

Happy, healthy trails to you all!

Progress is Not Perfect

Oops, I just broke an egg. It was an accident, I didn’t mean to break it, but I did. So, does that now mean that I should smash the remaining 11 eggs on the kitchen counter?

Well, I would never do that and waste 11 perfectly good eggs. Would you smash the other 11? No way. But I have done that many, many times with diets.

At first I would go like gangbusters and perfectly follow the meal plan and fitness routine. It was a diet "high!” You may know the feeling. I would get very excited, feel virtuous and self righteous about my progress and would think "this is it!" During these brief days, weeks or months I would feel that I could diet forever. But then, tragedy would strike. There would be a party or a holiday and as soon as I deviated from the diet, I was a “goner.” Or perhaps a family member would make a comment like: "Wow, you look like you lost some weight, maybe this time you will stick to the diet for a longer time and keep the weight off." Well gee, thanks for reminding me that I failed and I am weak. I would then dwell on the comment until I fell off the diet wagon. Or I would hit a rough patch at work and would turn to food for comfort. In any of these scenarios the diet would be over and I would feel absolutely horrible, weak and disgusted with myself. Of course I would then comfort myself with food.

It seems that some folks (including me) who struggle with their weight have this perfectionism thing. It is all or nothing; there is no middle ground, it is black or white. There is no room for the color gray in my old world of dieting.

Eight years ago, when I started my “last chance diet”, I remember hearing a speech from a successful inventor that perfectionism can get in the way of success. His philosophy is: if you fail at something, crash and burn quickly and move forward again. I decided to use that same philosophy on my "last chance diet." I would keep climbing back on that wagon no matter how hard it was to do. I was no longer looking for “perfect” instead I wanted “progress.” This thought pattern has helped me keep in line for close to 8 Years.

So, the next time you are tempted to fall off the wagon, or if you fall off the wagon completely, think about the eggs. Breaking one does not mean you lose the whole dozen, and always choose “progress” over “perfection.” If you fell off your horse you would get right back in the saddle. Right? Fitness plans and diets can be restarted. Just get back on board again as quickly as possible.

Any of you have similar experiences to share?

Happy, healthy trails to you.