Best Laid Plans - A Sick Day is Really a Health Day

At Home Today

It was a very busy week for me at work, home and school. I had also planned on two posts this week, one on yoga which is a beloved part of my exercise routine and the other on managing Thanksgiving eating without going overboard. Anyway, everything changed last night when I came home from work with a severe sore throat and fever. (Yoga photos will have to wait)

In the old days, I would have popped a couple of Motrin, dragged myself to work and toughed it out for the day. In the old days a cold would also linger and linger; and, I would keep getting re-infected. It was eight years ago in December that I last went through a series of bad colds that overlapped and turned into bronchitis, a result of my poor diet and lack of consideration for my health.

Since I have sick days left and felt really miserable, I stayed home. This way I rested and hopefully will recover faster and not infect anyone else. I don't get colds that often and get a flu shot, but I spend a couple of hours a week at a college with young adults. Plus a number of people in the office were sick last week. So, I caught a bug.

One of my companions today - Katsy

Today was about comfort and rest, something I would have never done in the past. I have too much respect for myself and my health these days. Health is precious and worth the investment of time to heal. Granted this is not a serious thing, it's a bad cold, but unchecked, it can get worse. If I take care of myself, I will bounce back quickly. These little things to take care of myself pay off in the long run. I now think of a sick day as a "getting back to health day."

Everyone needs a sheep hot water bottle when they have a cold :)

Take care and have a great week! Happy, healthy trails to you!

Guilt Free Dining Out

I love going out to dinner. Who doesn't? But going out to eat had always been a challenge for me. In the old days it was a license to overeat. No matter how nice the restaurant and experience, I was wracked by guilt afterward because I ALWAYS overate and consequently felt bloated and overstuffed. For the first eight or nine months of my "last chance diet," we rarely went out to eat. I was too frightened, too worried that I could not control myself in the restaurant. But suddenly I had to travel again for my job and I had to eat out when I was on the road. I discovered that with a couple of simple strategies I could stick to my eating plan and still go out. So, my husband and I began to go out to dinner again.

Please don't get me wrong, going out to dinner for us is not high end, high brow dining. My husband has a couple of specific requirements when we go out to dinner. First and foremost, NO "Artsy Fartsy Food." He has a big appetite and has no tolerance for small dishes of food that look like pieces of fine jewelry arranged on a plate. Also, he wants a restaurant that is comfortable where he can relax, not an over the top high brow place. Of course, the food must be good. Finally, he prefers small family owned places versus the chains. And me... I agree completely, because the family owned places tend to have a variety of home style food and are a bit more accommodating than chains with special requests. I also love a simple, cozy and comfortable atmosphere.

This past Saturday we went to one of our favorite local places. I ordered the Mediterranean Shrimp over Rice. Since salad comes with the meal, I choose a Greek Salad. We happen to know that this restaurant has a great salad (that is another requirement, a great salad!), so we did not order an appetizer. Oh, and please no bread at the table. This is a big change for us. In the past we would have several refills on the bread basket. If the bread is on the table it can lead to mindless eating.

Greek Salad above - I ate the entire salad and only part of the hard boiled egg.

We always eat the entire salad.....completely, no salad leftovers. This particular Greek salad had an oil and vinegar dressing so there was no need to ask for it "on the side." By eating the whole salad, I have taken my appetite down a couple of notches and my brain is beginning to register fullness.

As soon as the main course comes (see above) I mentally divide the dish into two portions, the one I will eat now and the one that comes home for later. As soon as I am satisfied (not stuffed) , I stop and ask the waitress to box the leftovers. I keep a mint in my handbag and when I am done with the meal, I have the mint. It is a small way to signal that I am done. We always have coffee after dinner, no dessert unless it is a special occasion.

Above is the portion that went home with me.

Now that I have made these simple adjustments, I find I get two or three meals from one restaurant visit. The portions tend to be huge at most places and I think that was my downfall for eating out in the past. I had no portion control and no concept of portion control. I assumed that if it was on a plate and in front of me, I was supposed to finish the whole thing.

Bonus leftovers for Sunday and Monday lunch - eaten with a tossed salad.

I walked out of the restaurant this past Saturday night feeling great. I had a nice meal with my favorite guy, was not overstuffed and had no guilt the next day. It is a good thing.
Do you have any ideas on how to eat out and keep your weight in check? Would love to hear them, I could use some new ideas.

Have a great weekend. Happy healthy trails to you.

Price of Admission - Labor of Love

Lately, I feel like I am being tortured by statistics. Literally. I am living and sleeping statistics these days. You see I am taking a college level statistics class and it is torture. I just had a project and exam due last week and ten more classes to go before the end of the semester. But despite the torture it is a true labor of love because it is the price of admission into the second part of my master's degree. I am enrolled in the Master's of Social Work (MSW) Program at Rutgers University and when I graduate I will begin a second career as a therapist and work with people who struggle with eating disorders, anxiety and addiction. It is my labor of love.

Currently, I work in a well paying job with a big company and I plan to give it all up. I will make far less in money but will hopefully make a big difference in the lives of others. It is my "calling" and I feel compelled to take this path even though it means taking statistics and struggling through some tough classes while juggling a full time job (and finding a bit of precious time to see my horse.)

One of the reasons I have been able to lose the weight and keep it off is because of a wonderful therapist. I have been seeing him for over six years now and it has made a huge difference in my life and my self esteem. He is on my side, he helps me see solutions to issues and helps me get insight. The insights include how my family of origin has influenced my attitudes about food and my body image, how I respond to stress, my hot buttons, etc. Plus he has given me a series of helpful hints on how to help myself through the rough patches. I wish I had this information sooner, but the good news is that I have it now. I want to make that same difference in the life of another person. The MSW degree will given me the tools, knowledge and training to make a difference.

When I go out and walk around and see heavy women, I see myself in their eyes, in their faces. I know what it's like to squeeze into plane seat, to be the "heaviest woman in the room" and to feel that quiet desperation beneath a big smile. I have been given a gift and I want to share it with the world. That is also why I am writing the blog...to make a difference. If this blog reaches just one woman, I will have succeeded.

Have a wonderful day. Happy, healthy trails to you!

Body Image – The Heaviest Woman in the Room

I have been struggling with this post for some time because it is a difficult topic for me. Body image is a person’s self perception and their attitude about their body. Most women I know have body image issues: too fat, too thick, not tall enough, etc, etc. Think about the common question - "Do these pants make my butt look big?" The media is no help as it glorifies razor thin women as the feminine ideal.

But when you have been or are very overweight body image takes on a whole new dimension. I can vividly remember what it is like to be the biggest woman in the room. When I was heavy, I would scan a room and make the mental comparison of myself to everyone else. At my heaviest I always underestimated my size , but down deep inside I would know I was the heaviest person in that room. I avoided photographs with a passion. If I camera came out, I was gone. Below is a "BEFORE" photo of me.

Here I am right before I began my "last chance diet" November 2001. If you asked me I would have said I was heavy but not obese. I was 300 pounds in this photo!

Fast forward to today. According to my health care professional, I am at the right weight for my size. I am not too thin and not overweight. I am just right. But, I don’t always feel just right, in fact my body image has swung in the other direction and through my mind's eye at times I see a much heavier person. Sometimes during yoga class the instructor asks us to stand with our feet hips distance apart. Often, the instructor will tell me that three feet is too far apart......my body image at work!

Why does this all matter? Because when I was obese I deluded myself that I really was not that heavy and did not face into how bad the situation really was. Don't get me wrong, I knew I was fat, but not that fat. (after I lost the weight and put on a coat I used to wear, I was in tears and almost passed out!) That denial was one of many reasons why I did not address the issue sooner. Once I started losing weight the positive feedback from trusted health care professionals and my family, helped keep me on track.

Today, I no longer get all of the positive feedback I did when I was losing weight, because most people take it for granted that I have always been in shape or have forgotten that I was obese. It is pretty incredible that people forget, but recently my daughter who is in her mid 20's told me she did not remember me as obese. But, at times the "poor body image" rears its ugly head and causes me stress. During those times I still see a heavy woman in the mirror or in the picture. The power of mental editing is just incredible! Besides causing stress, I know this poor image can become a self fulfilling prophesy and I could gain back the weight or I could swing the other way into anorexia.

When I look at this photo, I have to stop myself from being critical and remind myself that I am in the best shape ever for my bone structure and age! I am not a petite woman. PS I am in my 50's.

So, what I am doing about it? First of all plenty of positive self talk, I try to give myself positive affirmations as much as possible. When a negative thought about my body comes into my head, I ask it to leave and I replace the thought with something positive. I am also making positive body image a priority for myself in 2010. As part of my Master's of Social Work program, I am focusing on eating disorders and I am reading research studies that have been done on this topic. I am also in the process of looking for a health care professional or workshop that specializes in body image. To keep me honest about it all I have a health care professional that is sworn to tell me if I am gaining weight. Slowly, I am beginning to love myself and love my body. I am learning to relax despite the occasional lapses.

Anyone have any thoughts on this topic?

So, no matter where you are in your weight loss journey love yourself and love your body. Give yourself a hug and celebrate all of your accomplishments.

Happy, healthy trails to you. Enjoy your weekend.

Sunday Night Inspiration - Reunited at Last!

"I like to see people reunited, I like to see people run to each other, I like the kissing and the crying, I like the impatience, the stories that the mouth can't tell fast enough, the ears that aren't big enough, the eyes that can't take in all of the change, I like the hugging, the bringing together, the end of missing someone." — Jonathan Safran Foer

Julia and Nitro, reunited at last!


Last weekend a couple of us had a heartwarming experience, that involved a reunion and some kissing and crying. A young woman who rode my horse a couple of years ago was reunited with him last Sunday. She is a charming, lovely young woman named Julia , who is a really good rider with a passion for horses. For the past year she has been asking to ride Nitro again. Her Mom and I tried several times to set something up, but for a variety of reasons it never worked out.

Two years ago Julia rode Nitro in a regional English show and won Grand Champion for the season. She was thrilled, her family was thrilled and I was thrilled. However, for reasons unknown to any of us, she was put on another horse at the farm. Julia later moved to another riding facility, but she always asked about Nitro. So, a year and a half later, she was reunited with her buddy Nitro. Nitro is just getting back into shape after an injury, but last Sunday he was in top form. As a gift, I gave Julia a Dressage lesson with my trainer, and it was magic to watch.

For those of you who are wondering, yes... Nitro and I are taking Dressage lessons! My quarter horse is now in a barn with big warm bloods and he has become a terrific mover. I find Dressage to be great training and exercise for Nitro and me. Dressage forces me to use all of the skills I have developed in yoga and Pilate's. It is a true test of my stability and core strength. ( PS at one lesson I wore a heart monitor, and I burnt a significant amount of calories during a Dressage lesson!) I love the physical side of it as well as the mental challenge and it is making Nitro a stronger, happier and more supple horse. It is also making me a more confident and balanced rider. It took some courage to make this move to Dressage but watching Nitro and Julia, it was the right decision.

This week I wish you the courage to make a move and try something you have always wanted, but perhaps were unsure or were discouraged by some folks. Take the step, take the risk.

Maybe you will also have the opportunity to witness a young girl being reunited with a horse she loves. There is nothing like it in this world (I wiped away a couple of tears myself that day.)

Julia, you are one terrific, talented young lady!

Have a wonderful week! Happy, healthy trails to you.

An Apple a Day Keeps the Weight Away

Today my diet consists of plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables. In fact they make up most of my diet. Sure I have protein, dairy and grain. But fruits and vegetables are where it's at for me. That is very different than it was eight years ago when my diet consisted of a large portion of processed carbs, protein and junk food (junk was one of my major food groups).

From the very start of my "last chance diet" I have been eating at least one apple every day. My therapist recently recalled that the first time he met me, I pulled out a ziplock bag from my purse and showed him two apples. "I never leave home without them," I chuckled. But I was serious, they were my security blanket and still are. Before any big dinner or cocktail party, I have an apple. That way I am not diving into the cheese or appetizers with abandon. Ditto for driving home from work. An apple on the ride home, means that I am not starving as I walk in the house. So, instead of making a bee line for the fridge, I go upstairs, unwind, make a big salad, then have dinner in a relaxed healthy atmosphere.

Recently, there was an article in the New York Times Sunday Magazine about calorie restriction diets and a research study that is financed by the National Institute of Health. The study is named "Calerie" and is studying the long term effects of a reduced calorie diet on health and longevity. See NY Times 10/11/09 to read the full article.

"A number of recent experiments — notably by Barbara Rolls at Penn State — demonstrated that humans tend to eat a consistent weight of food from day to day, but not necessarily a consistent number of calories. For the Calerie study, this has proved a useful tool in the defense against hunger. By building a diet around foods with a low-energy density, especially vegetables, fruits and soups, participants can conceivably ingest the same weight of food as they might on a regular diet while taking in fewer calories.

Apples are superb in this regard. At the medical centers running "Calerie," you see a lot of people walking around eating apples. Even subjects who disliked apples have discovered that calorie restriction, which generally has the effect of making food taste better, has given them a surprising desire for the fruit." (NY Times 10/11/09)

My favorite farm market - Russo's with some of their 25 varieties.

So, try an apple a day. I recently visited a local farm market and they have 25 varieties of apples, and they are all in season right now. If you get into the habit of eating an apple a day, chances are you will be less likely to eat junk food. It is a simple way to keep the weight in check. Plus all of that roughage and vitamins will make you look and feel better.

I keep apples out and handy. Hide the candy dish, but keep the apples out.

Finally, our four legged friends have a great affinity for apples. I think if Nitro could he would stand on his head for one.

Nitro is in Apple Ecstasy!

MAC enjoying his apple. Nitro is suffering from serious apple envy.

Anyone have any good, low calorie apple recipes to share? Please send them on either in the comment section or email me at sandydenarski@gmail.com. Have a great weekend.

Happy, healthy trails to you.

Sunday Night Inspiration - Five Minutes Can Save Your Life

"We are pleased to inform you that the results of your recent mammography examination revealed no evidence of breast cancer." Radiology Group


It is always a huge relief to see the above quote as the first line of a letter from the Radiologist. I received one of these letters in the mail yesterday. It tells me that life is good, I am OK. Eight and a half years ago in May I had a breast cancer scare. For a couple of years I did not go for my annual mammogram. I rationalized that I was busy, I had done self exams and found no lumps, etc, etc, etc. The reality is that I should have been better about getting it done. Then one day I did find a lump and I freaked out. From there I went for a number of tests culminating in a visit to a breast specialist. I was lucky, I was very lucky. It was benign. But the doctor took me aside and she told me two things, one that she wanted to see a film a year, no excuses. The second thing she mentioned was that I was at higher risk because my Mother had breast cancer and at the time I was very overweight which was an additional risk factor. (What was I thinking!) As a result of this health scare and several others, a couple of months later I began my "last chance diet." I have also had an annual mammogram every year since, no exceptions.

National Breast Cancer Awareness MonthCelebrating 25 Years of Awareness, Education, and Empowerment


As I mentioned my Mother is a survivor. She had breast cancer 25 years ago, the same year the Breast Cancer Awareness October Program started. Mom is now 93 years old. Can you imagine that she has had over 25 healthy years because she had early detection. If you do have cancer, the earlier it is diagnosed and treated, the better the chances for long term health. My Mom has had life for 25 years! It has allowed her to watch her grandchildren grow up and they have been able to enjoy their grandmother. That five minute test gave her a priceless gift.


So, I know all of the excuses, I have used them myself. Don't make any excuses, call your doctor today and ask for the referral / script. Many doctors will write them for you to pick up or will fax them to the radiologist. If you cannot afford a mammogram, search on line for free mammograms, call the cancer society or NBCAM below. Resources are available. Also, please consider that the following increases your risk: "being overweight has been found to increase breast cancer risk, especially for women after menopause" , eating a diet of foods high in fat and lack of physical activity. ( http://www.cancer.org.) Also visit the NBCAM site: http://www.nbcam.org/about_nbcam.cfm

I am starting this week with peace of mind. It is a great feeling.
Before this month is over, if you haven't already done so, give yourself the five minute gift that can save your life. Schedule a mammogram. Do it for yourself, do it for your loved ones, no excuses.

Healthy, happy trails to you all.