An Owner's Moral Dilemma: Input Wanted
A Horse&Rider reader sent me an email today, describing a moral dilemma she's facing and asking for outside input. With her permission, I'm posting her comments/questions here...share your thoughts and ideas in the Comments section.
Dear Juli: I am a 57-yr-old nurse. I subscribe to Horse&Rider and pretty much religiously read it cover to cover. I think I remember articles about grief over loss of a horse. I am having to face the decision to have my two mares euthanized soon. Both Appys, one is 18 and the other 33. I've had them for 10 yrs and although I have not ridden either for about 5 years, I have taken care of them and believe in being a responsible horse owner no matter what. I board as I don't have my own property, so as you know it is not an inexpensive thing. The older girl is failing due to age. The younger is prone to laminitis, is hypothyroid, requires daily medication and must be strictly fed dry grass hay only... NO pasture. I want to let these two girls "go" so I can get another horse that is rideable. I CANNOT afford to board 3 horses. I am in a moral dilemma, I have contacted a university vet school, and they had agreed to take both girls for research. (It is called terminal research and they will be euthanized.) Now I am having second thoughts. Is this morally right? I can face this a little better with the older horse because she is probably no longer enjoying a quality of life. But the younger I feel guilty about, I am too big for her to ride (she is 14 hands at best, and I have gained weight and am 200 lbs) even if she is not in pain from her feet, which almost all of the time she isn't since I feed her dry grass hay and keep up with the medication. I could try to spare her and find another home, yet the rescues are overflowing and there is no family that would be willing to take a horse that you have to keep such strict tabs on and give medication to. Am I doing the right thing? They trust me so, will they "forgive" me if I load them up and drive them to their demise? Can you help me or is there a chat site that can help me think this through further? Thank you so much.
Putting yourself in this situation, what would YOU do? If you were this reader's friend, how would you advise her?
posted by Juli Thorson @ 7:42 PM
24 comments
24 Comments:
Juli- I truly feel for this woman, who has done so much above and beyond what many would have done in her shoes. Were this someone I knew, I would advise her to go ahead with her plan, but she would need to spend a bit of time with each horse, quietly, "talking" with them in her mind.
She brings up very valid points about the state of rescues and the massive number of other horses there needing care. Since she is well aware of this, I don't think it would be necessary to remind her of it, however it might help to point out that A) She has done a wonderful job providing a high quality life for two obviously much loved horses. In situations like this, it really is OK to let them go, in order for HER to take a step towards riding again. B) By her letting them go, and being willing to look around for another horse, she may well be able to bring one into her life that needs "rescuing" from one situation or another.
It really IS ok, after all this time, to let them go. For 10 years this woman has provided the utmost in care and comfort for them. She has given selflessly of herself, time and resources, and it IS ok to desire a ride again.
There are other horses out there, needing her special care as well.
None of this will make the decision any easier for sure. It never IS an easy decision. We sure will say a prayer for her, and the horses, and that she is able to listen to her heart, and the horses, and do what she is most comfortable with.
Hope that is of some help.
After giving these horses such good care, it would be reasonable to let them go into research. Much of what we have, concerning the health of our horses has come from dedicated research. It's time to ride again. That's what our horses do for us.
If I were in her shoes, I would put the mares down. I have no issues with the terminal research idea, as these are the kinds of studies that help us better understand horse ailments.
This horse owner sounds like a very responsible, loving horse owner. She deserves praise for all that she has done, and she deserves to ride again.
I commend her for finding an alternative to sending them on a truck. As a child my parents sent two of our horses to the sale yard. the first one was old and crippled, the second unfortunatly had lympho sarcoma cancer,and he probably ended his days in the yard in pain, I pray it was quick for him. Having the option for them to be used for research(which was an option for our second horse, but mom couldnt afford to haul him to Pullman) is a way to have them make a difference by helping research, maybe they will help other horses not suffer in the future. I am sure the univercity will keep them comfortable and pain free, which is a great end as far as I am concerned.
I believe this comes down to the "Are horses pets or livestock?" issue, obviously my parents chose the livestock option, both were in the '80s,I have and will have my euthed at home and then hauled off, knowing what I know now. The option the something good could come out of their death, for research, is to me a liberating thought, if only they all could have that. Please be at peace with this decision, it is a good one, not all of us have that option.
Juli - is she in the NW?
She could donate them to the Kitty Zoo, maybe not the medicated one, but perhaps the other one. It's quick and humane, she wouldn't have to worry about what to do with remains and she wouldn't have to worry at about them suffering until the vets decide to put them down.
Another option might be to see if a rescue or sanctuary would take one of them - but the rescues are so full, and adoptability may be an issue. I only know of one sanctuary in our area and its full.
I don't think she should feel guilty at all - Vets have a moral obligation to the welfare of the animals - they won't subject them to painful experiments, they will be well cared for until they decide to put them down.
I wish I could give her a big hug - and a cowgirl up punch to the arm - she'll be okay. I know this is a hard time...
Also I hope she knows no matter what the decision she will most likely feel guilty and terrible sad at first, but time heals and in the future she will most likely be able to come to terms about the situation.
Euthanasia is probably the best choice for the two mares. I know its sad but it's also a gift of sparing them fate that falls to so many other old discarded horses.
Steph,
I don't know the reader's location, but do know she will be reading the comments posted here and using them to help her decide what to do. It sounds like she's narrowed it down to two options: euthanasia now, or donating to the research facility, with euthanasia down the road sometime.
Washington State University charges the same amount to "donate" a horse as it does to put one down and dispose of the body. (You can't just give them a horse--you have to pay them to take it.) Either way, the fee was $250 last January, but may have gone up since then.
I commend this woman for her responsible horse care. So many people would not have given these mares this level of care for so long (sad but true).
I think she is making the right decision for both mares. I would do the same, however I would enquire as to what type of research was being done and ensure that they would receive top notch care until the study concluded. So much can be learned from research and I think these mares could contribute a lot.
She should not feel guilty about her decision. She is freeing these girls from their pain and at the same time helping other horses.
My thoughts and prayers are with her.
I have been in the same situation.
Two years ago I put down my best friend, a 20-year-old gelding, due to bone spavin. I have had him for 7 years, and had such a marvellous time together with him. He had been in retirement for two years. As I was paying full rent for stabling, at some point or other I just had to make a tough decision. I wanted a new horse I could ride on, and I could not trust that someone would take good care of him. Retirement homes are non-existing here in Norway.
But I still blame myself, and wonder if I did the right thing. I think of him often.
I had him put down at home; one minute he was grassing, and the next minute he was no more.
A desision to put the horse down is never an easy one, but if we take the responsability to have an animal, that day will eventually come.
I am 45 myself, and I think - how many horses have I left in my life? After my old gelding was put down, I bought a 3-year-old, untrained mare(which I have told myself that I never should buy :-))but she just chose me, I think. It was just love at first sight, and totally against what I had set out for. But for me it turned out to be the right choice. I have got such a wonderful companion, a truly worthy substitute to my old horse. And even if I miss him, my new mare gives me joy and happiness every day.
I wish this horse owner the same.
As humans, we have a hard time making a choice which we know will cause us pain and grief (I saw an ad a while back asking for financial help to purchase a prosthesis for a young horse that had lost a leg to a barbed wire entanglement. *That* owner needed a water melon thump on the end of her nose!) I understand how hard it is to feel responsible for 'causing the death' of a loved one, but you MUST think of their quality of life first.
I went through the same thing a few years ago when I made the heartwrenching decision to put our dog to sleep (she was old, going blind, and had arthritis.) I was full of self doubts for a long time. In looking back, much of my hesitation and conflicting feelings were for my own selfish purposes. Let me ask you a tough question; with all of the expensive treatments and time you are putting into their care, are they truly happy, pain free and comfortable? Is it possible that you are dragging out the inevitable because you aren't sure you're ready to say goodbye? *Please* don't think me caloused for saying this, but there are too many healthy horses in desperate need of good homes.
On a different note, if you find that you can't justify letting go, or you decide you aren't ready to purchase another mount, perhaps you could find someone who hasn't had enough time lately to go out riding and has a horse in need of exercise?
I have gone through this recently.
This fall I put down a horse I had owned and loved for most of my adult life. She was my trusty mountain horse, my daughter's teacher and friend, lesson horse extrodinaire, grandma to countless weanlings and just a fine horse in every way.
She was 34.She was failing.
My biggest concern was that she feel no fear.
I didn't want to stress my old friend in any way.
The day before we put her down I took her out to graze in the best grass I could find. I groomed her and picked her feet. I scratched her ears and said good bye.
The next day the vet come to her pasture. I caught her and led her to my trailer. I stayed business like, as if we were going for a ride.
I loaded her in the trailer and stayed with her while the vet gave her a tranquilizer.
She sank to the floor. Her heart stopped before we gave the kill shot.
She was calm, quiet and trusting. Which is what she deserved.
I really don't think we can be caught in the guilt of maintaining elderly or unsound horses that we can't afford.
There's a good horse out there that is sound and needs you.
You have taken good care of these horses. Now you can still take care of them and give them a dignified death. My goal would be that they aren't frightened or confused.
Good luck, I know how hard this decision is.
I agree with everyone on here. You have to move on. When I have had this problem with dogs or horses, I ask myself "would I want to live like that?". I just wish my animals could do the same for me somewhere down the road.
With their age and medical problems, I think there's nothing wrong with having them euthanized. But if it were me and I could afford euthanasia, I would not put a horse that I loved into a research environment. Not unless I had no other option. There would be stress and confusion at the end of their lives. The university can get their horses from auctions or, as they do here, from the kill buyer who gets his horses at auctions. They don't need people's beloved pet for their research.
Never a good situation, the woman knows what the right thing is- she just needs the support to do it. My advise to her is what I tell myself and anyone else in that situation. Do not give the problems to someone who would do less than you have done. Do the humane and right thing by euthanizing them with as little stress to the horse as possible. By doing this, your grief will be well met- if you let them go any other way your grief will never heal, it will always be a thorn in your conscience. Rest easy knowing you have done the right thing and then go help another horse, and then another. God Bless you.
As a university student who has watched-and learned!-a lot from watching the necropsy of donated horses, I would agree that this is a better option for her horses than to simply euthanize and dispose of the bodies. University research teaches the vet students of tomorrow, and by donating you also increase the chances that these students can learn something that will one day help all horses.
I agree that the owner should enquire into what kind of research will be done. What I wouldnt worry about is what kind of care they receive until they are put down- I worked at the Equine Research Park while I was a student at Cornell, and every horse there, whether they were donated, owned by the park, or expensive boarded horses, recieved top quality care. Not one was given preference over another. If she wants, she should check out where the horses would be staying and meet with the manager to guarantee that quality care would be given.
My heaqrt breaks for you. I believe that you are making the
best decision for your mares.
That is the promise we made them. To make the best decisions we could for them.
God hold you in His hands
Jane&Jabber
A tough choice, but if the quality of life isn't there, putting them down is probably the best choice. And it will make room for a sound horse who needs a home. (There certainly is no shortage of them these days.)
Unless they are going to be put down immediately upon arrival, I do have misgivings about turning them over to the veterinary school. I think our old friends deserve to go with dignity, with familiar people and surroundings, just like Mugwump described. I just wouldn't trust anyone to take proper care of my friends, especially in there last days.
Maybe I'm just a sentimental old fool.
I once postponed putting my beloved dog down for 3 months after a cancer diagnosis. To this day (10 yrs later), I kick myself for making my dog go that much longer doing his job to protect me and my daughter. I have since had to put down 2 more exceptional animals (all Dobermans)one for myopathy the other an aggressive carcenoma. Having seen what chemo did to my dad there was no way I could force my animals to deal with that. Where's the love? I let them go within a day or two of diagnosis. guilt? Big time! My daughter asked me if I would cry like that when she dies. ABSOLUTLY!
But the memories each of them gave us far outweighs keeping them around, miserable, from pain, incontinence, lack of appitite, etc.
You know in your heart what needs to be done. Don't doubt yourself or question your decision.
Now that I own 2 Apps of my own and myself am in my 50's, I do whatever I can to make sure they get what they need and when that time comes, along with the doubt, is this the right choice, could something else have been done?, I know I have the support of every person who has given their heart to a special animal, friend,companion.
I have had to make this decision four times in the last five years. I totally agree with those who have said to euthanize the mares at home. Don't haul them somewhere else, research center or otherwise. Let them die in their familiar home, held by their trusted owner. Isn't that what we would want if we were them?
I agree that trailering her horses to the research facility is the best option. She did all that she could for them.
My 18-year-old horse had to be put down several years ago as he had Colitis X and there was no cure. My vets had no idea what was wrong with him and the vets at the Marion Dupont Animal Hospital in Leesburg, VA said his colon was not functioning and couldn't find a cause. He suffered with severe diarrhea for a year with bouts of getting better and then failing. I did all I could, with the help of my vets, to keep him comfortable and tried to remain optimistic. Finally the time came when my vet and I decided that we had to let him go. My friends trailered him to the University of Maryland in College Park, MD. He was euthanized and a necropsy was done. Unfortunately, nothing was found to explain what had happened to him.
My vet and the vet at the college couldn't have been more conforting to me and Chessie. After giving me a few minutes to "say goodbye" my friends drove me away. When I last saw Chessie, after he had been given an initial tranquilizer, he looked very comfortable and even curious of his surroundings.
I do not regret my decision and the manner in which I had him put down. My other option was to have him buried where I boarded him (which is now a high priced housing development).
I am way way behind here, but consider this.
Have you ever used Bute for pain for a horse? How was bute developed to use? It was because of researchers. Have you ever had colic surgery for a horse? How did they develop the drugs and the techniques for that surgery? It was because of researchers. Most researchers are doctors or students doing their studies with guidance from those doctors. All of them are scientists looking for ways to help horses and often times other species too. Many human drugs were developed from research done on animals, things I have had cause to be grateful for at times in my life.
And for those who have visions of Dr. Frankenstein experimenting on trapped subjects, banish that thought. These are people who want to HELP, not harm. The regulations that are in place for research are stringent. These mares will be well cared for and they may advance the search for pain relief, causation of their disease and help in finding a cure.
I would absolutely find out what the facility is like (mostly for my own peace of mind), and I would speak to the directors as well as any researchers who would talk to me. But unless something really rang an alarm bell, I would be thinking my horses could contribute to finding answers to help other horses and that is a good thing.
Thanks for this email posting, Im faced with the same situation I have 2 horses I also board its around $750 a month to care for both horses one is 21 year old and another 10 who also has thyroid problems and she has to be given oral injections daily... the older 20 year old is an pasture but now has to be feed a special grain, "equine senior" which I have to pay extra and is not considered part of the regular farm's grain program. So,I have to Pay for it. The horse is very small, also too small for me to ride around 14'1. At times she is agreesive and weaves during heat cycles. I have not ridden her for at least 10 years, but have paid each month to care for her. The other horse is fine, not lame, and can be ridden, but I do have to provide the $100.00 monthly charge for the medicine. The older horse looks really good, but being small, older,not a kids horse and at times agreesive I dont think she would be a good kids horse ??
So, do I just keep paying for her for these next 10 to 12 years ???
The guilt of euhthazia, would be soo great, but the money and expense is getting so great, I dont think I could sell or give her away if I tried. Since at times she is agreesive I would feel bad if she hurt a child
What is everyones thoughts???
I think it depends on what the horse YOU (the owner) believe and how YOU feel about your horses. How much do the horses mean to you? Almost every horse owner loves their horses, but some have special bonds with their horses and love them as much as their kids!
But otherwise, people are usually in love with all horses and riding and want the best for all of the animals and the sport. If you are one of these people, you should donate your mares go to research to benefit other horseowners and their horses.
However, if you hold a special bond with your mares (or one of them), you should think of how they will pass on, and if you want that for them.
I know I love my horse very much, and if I were in the position you were in, I would have her put down in her own home where I can be with her and she can leave this world in peace, so she won't be afraid or alone. Eventhough donating her to research would help many other horses, I would put her above all of the horses in the world just because she's like my kid... But that's just me.
Many people do not view animals this way. I do admit, it is pretty crazy to love a horse, or a dog, or a cat, or any animal as much as a human being. A lot of people think that things should be done for the greater good, and not just to benefit one person or animal. Like I said, it depends on what YOU believe.
Juli, I feel horrible for this woman, whoever she is. It is never an easy decison, but tell her to set her mind at ease, because simply the fact that she cares enough to agonize over what to do indicates that EITHER decision will be the right one. A person like that would never make such a decision based only on what is most convenient, and with that sort of horse-love in her heart, her girls are lucky individuals indeed.
Please remind her too that horses don't have "plans for the future" that she is cutting short, that they live in the here & now.
They have no concept of "average lifespan", and if she chooses to end it, all they will know is that they got to live the dream of "happier ever after", right up to the end.
My vote is put them down, treasure the memories, and bless another horse with this sort of care & concern.
Post a Comment
<< Home