What's With These Balky Horse-Husbands?

With horses, we know that the first step in changing vexing behavior is to learn the reason why the behavior's occurring in the first place. If the same is true of humans--and in this case, I'm talking about horse-husbands--then I could use your input on the following:

Why do some of our beloved horse-husbands have such a big problem with paying others to do farm-related projects they theoretically COULD do themselves, but in reality don't have time for? Why the balkiness over hiring someone ELSE to run the posthole digger...to paint the barn...to repair a sagging stall ceiling...to replace a leaking barn faucet...to fertilize the pasture...etc., etc., etc.?

If you know the answer to this, please just pretend that you're the John Lyons/Clinton Anderson/Pat Parelli/Chris Cox/name-horse-clinician-of-your-choice of horse-husband consultants, and that I'm the eager-earred newbie awaiting your words of wisdom. Explain it to me like I'm a 6-year-old. Help me see things from the balky one's point of view.

I've already asked my mother. And she said she can't figure it out, either.

Just Another Fun Day at the Ranch

This is one of those days when having your own horse facility isn't all it's cracked up to be. I'd only been at my desk for 5 minutes this morning, working on March's issue of Horse & Rider, when I heard an echoing BOOM! from the general vicinity of the pasture. Leaping to the window, I saw a red sedan come skidding to a stop after tearing through and flattening 60 feet of fence. The driver'd spun out of control on the adjacent icy highway, hurtled the ditch, and created a gaping hole. I could see the driver out of the car and walking around as I pulled on boots and parka for a closer look. I wasn't even halfway to the wreck site when a SECOND car left the highway and managed to do the same kind of damage as the first one!

Fortunately, neither driver had any injuries, and cars and fencing can be replaced. Still, I can think of things I'd rather be doing in the days before Christmas besides rebuilding a fence in a snowstorm.

If you keep your horse at a boarding stable and will attend your barn's holiday party over the next couple of days, hoist an extra eggnog or hot toddy on my behalf, OK? I probably won't be singing "Jingle Bells," nor exclaiming any "Ho, Ho, Ho's." It'll be more like, "Pass me that box of fencing staples, will you, Honey?" and "Whose idea was it to buy a horse ranch, anyway?"

Slaughter Ban Is Dead--For Now

The proposed American Horse Slaughter Prevention Act is history--at least for now. Although the U.S. House of Representatives voted to pass the act into law earlier this year, the Senate adjourned without voting on it. That means any slaughter-ban bill would have to be reintroduced in 2007 and again voted on by the House and Senate before becoming law.

Meanwhile, in the Unintended Circumstances Department, anonymous sources within the livestock industry have told me that the three U.S. horse-slaughtering plants have worked at full capacity the last several months, in order to process horses coming in from slaughter buyers anxious to earn as much income as possible before the proposed ban might go into effect. Thus, the "save the horses" rhetoric leading up to Congressional action against slaughter could well boost the 2006 total instead of reducing it. In 2005, over 90,000 horses were slaughtered in the U.S. while another 20,000 reportedly were shipped to Canada and Mexico for slaughter.

Hop back in the archives to read my "Stinkin' Thinkin'" post. Then let me know your thoughts on this latest development in the unwanted-horse conundrum.

Let's Talk Horsey Holiday Gifts!

Anyone want to share items from their horsey holiday gift lists? With just over a week left to go until Christmas, I'm guessing some of us can use a little inspiration in the "what to shop for?" department. Here are a few prompts from me, to help you get started.

GIFTS I'M GIVING:
* Set of engraved bridle conchos, cross motif.
* Set of retro-style bridle conchos, clear half-globes with cowgirl motif underneath.
* Swarovski crystal earrings, in color to match a show outfit.
* Belt with nail heads and retro-style floral embroidery.
* Cowboy boot Christmas stocking, filled with plush-toy horses.
* Reversible saddle blanket with separate felt underliner.

GIFTS ON MY OWN "DEAR SANTA" LIST:
* English bridle and reins.
* New clipper blades (perfect stocking stuffers, right?)
* Oster Mini-Max clippers.
* Full-body blanket liner, extra-large.
* Bailey Premier show hat, maple color, cream bound brim.
* Bottle of Rose Oil coat conditioner.

FAVORITE GIFTS I'VE RECEIVED IN PAST YEARS:
* Yearling-size show halter (too extravagant to buy for self).
* Stall sign with my horse's name and picture on it.
* Waterproof turnout blanket.
* Bottle of horse shampoo--with engagement ring inside the cap!

The Dinosaurs In Our Midst

Most of us think of evolution as a process that allows survival of species. But when it comes to the evolution of breed shows, that may not be the case. I see some strong indicators that bring dinosaurs to mind. And we all know what happened to them. The only thing left of those creatures that once ruled the earth are their fossilized remains.

Why do I say this? Well, for one thing, breed shows are suffering from a decreased-attendance trend that's been going on for a while now. Some have disappeared altogether as their food supply--willing participants--dropped below their production/staffing costs.

For another, their multi-day formats are increasingly incompatible with the demands on today's time-challenged families. In an earlier age, the typical breed show took place on Saturday/Sunday weekends. Now, though, it's common for them to run for three or four days--fine if you're self-employed, retired, or independently wealthy, but not so fine if you're a wage earner or a student who's expected to show up in class five days a week.

And then there's the matter of the necessary cash outlay. As attendance edges downward, fees keep creeping up in order to make up the difference. If you're among those still playing the breed-show game, you know what I'm talking about here--higher entry fees, higher stall fees, plus trainer fees, drug-test fees, office fees, points-keeping fees, RV fees, even parking fees for the privilege of keeping your trailer on the grounds and pet fees for bringing your dog. This isn't to mention the escalating cost of what it takes to live up to the contemporary standards of tack, attire, and other equipment.

All told, it's no surprise to me that single-day, unrated local open shows are enjoying a renaissance and a growth pattern in many areas of the country. In some locales, including mine, it's not uncommon for a breed club to sponsor an open show or series of them as a way to boost funding of its annual high-overhead breed event. Besides being cheaper for the club to produce, the one-day show is more doable for the show enthusiast who isn't prepared to take days off work, hire help to take care of the farm while gone, and write a three-figure check to a multi-day breed circuit's sponsoring organization--all for the privilege of earning those intangible rewards known as breed points.

I've been a breed-show participant (not just in one breed, but several) for nearly 50 years, so it's not like I'm just a disgruntled can't-join-'em outside observer. I've been in the thick of the breed-show realm most of my life, having shown in my first breed-show class before I was old enough to go to school. But I'm afraid I do have to wonder how much farther breed shows can stand to evolve in terms of time and financial outlay before they become Breedshowus Disappearus.

So...Anything You'd Like to Ask Me?

I'm on a working road trip at present, representing Horse & Rider at the 52nd annual convention of the American Association of Equine Practitioners in San Antonio, Texas. Last night, while at one of those "working dinners" where the job du jour is to entertain advertisers, corporate partners, veterinary contributors, etc., one of my "new best friends"--a longtime H&R reader, it turns out--grilled me with a gazillion questions.

Where did I grow up? How did I get into horse journalism? What's it like to BE in horse journalism? What advice did I have for someone who'd like to do what I do? Did I actually own and ride horses, or did I just write about them? What were some of my favorite behind-the-scenes stories about famous trainers and events? What does my middle initial S. stand for? What did I like to do for fun when NOT all wrapped in in horse stuff?

I was somewhat amazed to be asked about such stuff, mainly because it's usually me who's asking all the questions. But afterward, back at my hotel room, I got to thinking: Maybe some of the other people who read H&R and my blog would like to ask me some questions, too. Maybe I should turn the tables and let YOU be the ones to satisfy curiosity. Now that I have this blog, it's more possible than ever for that to happen.

So here's your chance. I'll be here at the convention all day, at the Cyber Cafe sponsored by H&R's sister publication, EQUUS. I'll pop over to a computer kiosk from time to time, checking to see whether any questions surface. If they do, I'll post back in the Comments section.

It won't be exactly the same as going to dinner together, but it's sure closer than I ever dreamed might be possible when I was a girl who dreamed about becoming a horse writer.

Baby, It's Cold Outside!

This is one of those times when it pays to have grown up in North Dakota. Along with other parts of the country, my current home in northern Idaho is in the grip of a big Arctic chill, and it's making the task of daily horse care challenging, to say the least. I've just come in from hauling water to a horse whose automatic waterer couldn't take the cold and from shoveling snow to reach the manure pile. There's too much ice under the snow to turn horses out safely, so I'm left with six unhappily cooped-up critters with nothing to do except wait for their waitress--me--to bring them their next meal. The driveway's buried under white stuff, the tractor's too cold to start, and I'm already sick of the bulging figure I cut in snowpants.

Still, none of this is anything I haven't coped with before. Thanks to the aforementioned upbringing at the top of the Great Plains, I know better than to let winter catch me unaware. In fact, I spent the nicer parts of September and October following the lead of my immigrant ancestors and squirreling away wintertime survival items. For a horse gal, the list goes something like this:

-----Three dozen gallon jugs of water, stashed in the basement in case power to the well goes out: Check.
-----Headlamp and batteries for doing chores in the dark, also in case power goes out: Check.
-----A cozy blanket for every horse, cleaned, repaired, and standing by: Check.
-----Two more tons of hay than I probably need, just so I don't run out while snowed in: Check.
-----Doses of colic-pain meds in case a horse gets sick when the vet can't get here: Check.
-----Stall balls and other toys for barn-bound horses, the better to keep their beaver tendencies at bay: Check.
-----Toboggan and big tubs for getting shavings to the barn in deep snow: Check.
-----Longjohns and other warmies, snowboots, etc.: Check.
-----Weather radio tuned to receive storm alerts and advisories: Check.
-----Attitude that reminds me that I live in four-season country by choice: Check.

Sure, I'd rather have a winter like last year's, with little snow, above-normal temps, and an extended riding season. But I can manage with a tougher one, too. I just remember that saying, overheard often in my NoDak days:

"Twenty below keeps the riffraff out."